Jimmy Buffett on Strategic Human Resources Issues

Fruitcakes, every one of us!

One of my favorite Jimmy Buffett songs  is Fruitcakes.    It has a catchy beat, but I like it for the lyrics.   I always considered this song to be Jimmy’s best commentary on the human condition.

I was looking at the lyrics today and realized that it is also a great conmentary on Human Resources.   How so, you may ask?

Check it out, dudes!

• Talent Selection is an art.  Background checks are often important!

You know I was talking to my friend desdemona the other day she runs this space station and bake shop down near boomtown. she told me that human beings are flawed individuals. the cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early. and that’s the reason were as crazy as we are and I believe it.

• Change management – HR professionals understand how to help people cope with change

Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know they try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. I don’t want it! I don’t want that much organization in my life. I don’t want other people thinking for me. I want my junior mints. where did the junior mints go in the movies. I don’t want a 12 lb. nestles crunch for 25 dollars. i want junior mints.

• Workplace violence is something HR peeps always need to be watchful for, living in these stressful times

We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers. We need people that care! I’m mad as hell! and I don’t want to take it anymore!

• Sexual  harassment can pop up anywhere.  HR people need to be vigilant!

Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen (Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street) Struttin naked through the crosswalk In the middle of the week Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven) Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)There’s a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

• Disaster planning and recovery is something many HR people overlook until it is too late!  Don’t let this happen to you!

Paradise, lost and found Paradise, take a look around. I was out in California where I hear they have it all.  They got riots, fires, mud slides.  They’ve got sushi in the mall. Water bars, brontosaurs, Chinese modern lust.  Shake and bake life with the quake.  The secrets in the crust.

• Government relations bear watching.   How will bureaucracy and policy affect your business?

Speakin of fruitcakes, how bout the government? Your tax dollars at work. We lost our martian rocket ship,  the high paid spokesman said.  Looks like that silly rocket ship has lost it’s cone shaped head. We spent 90 jillion dollars trying to get a look at mars. I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars!

• Religious accomodations and other protected class actions are on the rise.    Train your supervisors!

Religion! religion! oh, there’s a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. here we go now.  Alright, alter boys.  Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa  Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa! Wheres the church, who took the steeple?  Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people. Television preachers with bad hair and dimples, the gods honest truth is it’s not that simple. Its the Buddhist in you, it’s the pagan in me. Its the Muslim in him, she’s catholic aint she? Its the born again look it’s the wasp and the Jew. Tell me what’s goin on, I aint gotta clue

• Teamwork, employee relations and recognition are a ripe field for impacting your business.  Pay attention here!

Now here comes the big ones. relationships! we all got em, we all want em. what do we do with em? Here we go, I’ll tell ya. She said you gotta do your fair share, now cough up half the rent. I treat my body like a temple.  You treat yours like a tent!  But the right word at the right time may get me a little hug.  That’s the difference between lightning and a harmless lightnin bug.

• Leadership and long range planning make all the difference!

The future. captains log, star-date two thousand and something. We’re seven years from the millennium. That’s a science fiction fact.  Stanley kubrick and his buddy Hal now don’t look that abstract. So I’ll put on my bob Marley tape and practice what I preach.  Get jah lost in the reggae mon As I walk along the beach. Stay in touch with my insanity really is the only way. Its a jungle out there kiddies, Have a very fruitful day! Hey.

• Diversity in your workforce is on the rise.  How are you planning for it?

That’s right, you too.  yeah those crumbs are spread all around this universe. Ive seen fruitcakes. I saw this guy in Santa Monica roller skate naked through the crosswalk. Down in New Orleans in the french market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe.  New York, forget it. fruitcake city. down island, we’ve got Fruitcakes. spread them crumbs around. that’s right, we want em around. keep bakin baby. keep bakin!

I’m ending 2009 on a silly note to start this morning. Here’s to a fruitful 2010 for us all! I’ll talk to ya’ll later tonight on HR Happy Hour!

Happy New Year!

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Tagged as: Business, Fruitcake, Harassment, Human Resources, Jimmy Buffett, New Orleans, Religion, Sexual Harassment